Insane WW2 Weapons - Part 1

For those of us who live in America, we have to face the facts: as a nation, we are pretty damn stupid. As if that wasn't bad enough, we have the nerve to be the cockiest country on the planet since...well ever. With biased Hollywood films to a very American-European centered view in our history books, many Americans believe we play a bigger role in the world than we actually do. Now don't get me wrong, we are still one bad ass motherfucker, being a hyperpower (sole superpower of the world) and all. We also have the largest GDP (13 trillion bitches!) along with the strongest military currently in the world. You'd think we'd be God right?

Even though right now the economy is shittier than Michael Jackson's decaying nose, some Americans believe that we were ALWAYS this awesome. For example, many Americans believe that we were the saviors for the Europeans in WW2 with D-Day and anything with Tom Hanks. However, history teaches that it's the Russians who did all the work while we invaded small countries like a pussy. Another misconception is that people tend to think that the atomic bomb is the craziest weapon of WW2. While we should get our due credit for creating one of the most powerful weapons, we certainly don't top the charts for the most insane WW2 weapons.

Project Habakkuk

The name being inspired from a verse in the Bible, Project Habakkuk was the name for the British project that planned to create an aircraft carrier out of a material called Pykrete. This was a material that was 14% sawdust and 86% ice. Wait, what the fuck. ICE?

"Hey James...what if we made this out of an ice cube?"

When the Germans started to sink a lot of British ships with their U-boats, the British started to panic. And of course, everyone knows that thinking is best done when one is sweating a pool and shitting stones. So the British gathered up what dignity they had left and proposed a 2,000 ft. long ship-o-ice. Supposedly, if the ship were to sustain damage from torpedoes, it's crew can repair it from the ocean itself. Since, ya know, the ocean has a lot of fucking water.

Eventually the project was scrapped, citing reasons such as preferring conventional aircraft carriers and trouble getting the right engines. But we all know that really, the leaders in Parliament saw the idea on a chart and just thought this:

"Dudes, you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Anti-tank Dogs

The British weren't the only crazy ones, the Russians had to get a part of the retardedness. In response to the German tanks, the Russians devised a plan to have dogs run under the bottom of tanks which would trip an explosive - killing the poor dog and the tank. Now, no normal dog would run under a gigantic rolling machine of steel death, but these Russian dogs were conditioned. The Russians would train the dogs by starving them for a few days, then releasing the dogs to have them find dog food under a tank. Do this a couple times, and you'll have a pack of dogs who think a big juicy ribeye is stuck under every tank tread.

Food

Surprisingly enough, these dogs-of-doom actually worked. Several hundred tanks were disabled, and the Germans were so fed up they were ordered to shoot any dog in sight. However, because dogs are much smaller and faster than humans, they were much harder to kill. To solve this, the Germans had to install freaking flamethrowers to thwart the strategy - but many still came. It was all going fine until a released batch of hungry and explosive dogs went after a Soviet division, making them retreat for an entire battle.

What's bad is that not only is every PETA-activist screaming at the top of their lungs, it leaves a bad memory for Americans. How can we ever think of Lassie again, now that we know she might blow us into pieces?

"Stay the fuck away Lassie."